When Your Past Becomes A Problem In Your Present & Future…

 

So on Facebook I follow “Kings Charles’ Questions of The Day”…  A pretty cool group in which opens the floor for members to post questions regarding situations they’re currently facing…  So yesterday a young lady posted a question I found to be pretty interesting…  Check it out…

“Hey Group, I have met this wonderful man!  He is 44 years old with no children.  He makes around $150K a year, and owns his own business.  Has a (4) bedroom home (Mortgage Paid Off) and the best sex I have ever had in my life!  He cleans and cooks like a 5 Star Chef.  Oh yea, he gives me the best massages and loves all of my curves and imperfections and all!  Every weekend he wines and dines me and randomly surprises me with flowers.  He is a great son and uncle, and he mentors the youth.

One issue…  he’s bisexual and has had sex with 1 man before.  He wants to be exclusive with me and plans to marry me…  What am I gonna do!”

So here we go…

Either this is a lie she’s made up or she’s just seeking some attention… If you notice she starts out listing everything he brings to the table…  You can tell this chic either has nothing herself or she’s driven and impressed by those who do…  Trust me I get she wants to paint a clear picture of the wonderful man he is, but what does these things have to do with her…  Also if you noticed, she never expresses whether or not she likes or loves him…  Whether  (Click HERE to read more)

I Trust You…

 

Isn’t it amazing how life has a way of making us prove not to the world, but to ourselves who we are?  How the lessons of our past surfaces in our present?  Here recently I’ve found myself at war…  A war between my heart and mind…  My heart says “Hell naw, don’t do it.   You were hurt before, don’t you remember???”, but my mind says “You can do it, you’re equipped to handle anything comes your way”.  So which do I go with?  Do I go with the heart who felt the hurt and pain?  Or do I follow my mind who remembers how I overcame the hurt and the pain felt before???

The reason I began blogging was because of hurt…  Hurt felt over the years that fortunately I was able to overcome, but I can remember the days in which I didn’t think I would…  I can remember the dark moments; moments of feeling betrayed, and the times in which I felt abandoned by God.  I can remember saying “How did I allow this time to happen?” as well as “I will never be here again.”, but today I find myself standing before a door that looks so similar to the one in which hurt was waiting for me on the other side…  So again I ask, which do I go with???  Do I go with the heart who felt the hurt and pain???  Or do I follow my mind who remembers how I overcame the hurt and the pain felt before???

Honestly, I’m afraid but I’ve decided to follow my mind and I’ve convinced my heart to as well…  Currently (Click HERE to read more)

I “Like” Me More…

 

I had to learn I have to love myself more than I want my family, friends, and the world to love me…  No matter the state i might find myself in, I have to love myself no matter what…  Each morning I wake up, I say “John, I love you and you’re sexy, smart, gorgeous, and an amazing gift to the world”…   There are days I don’t feel it, but I’ve realized we don’t always feel our greatness, but it’s there…  Social Media can really mess you up if you let it… It’s amazing how in order to get thousands of likes you have to show some skin,  suppress your greatness and stoop to levels you never imagined…

Many of you reading today have found your place of feeling loved through Social Media.  You post, the world likes  and instantly you’re validated… You feel beautiful/handsome, desirable, smart and you feel as though someone cares you even exist…  For you a “Like”  represents the words spoken to you as a child aren’t true…  It represents someone sees you…  It represents (Click HERE to read more)

The Fear Of Letting Go…

 

It’s amazing how sometimes we’re unhappy, but we’re afraid of letting go of the things/person who is making us unhappy…  Speaking from experience, I can remember some of my most unhappiest times…  Times when I was financially, spiritually and mentally broken…  Times when I felt insecure, doubted everything and everyone, and times when I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel…  Like many of you reading, even though things were bad in my life, I feared walking away because I feared losing what I thought was everything…I feared letting go of people, relationships, jobs, and churches….  I feared stepping out on faith, trusting God to do what He does best…  I feared losing everything because I couldn’t see I really had nothing….   All of what I believed I had was nothing in comparison to what I had to gain…

The “unknown” is scary…  It’s scary because we are no longer in control…  It’s scary because we have to submit ourselves and allow destiny to lead us into places (Click HERE to read more)

7 Things Single’s “SHOULDN’T” Do This Holiday Season…

 

So let’s get to it…

       

7.  Don’t compare your journey to the journey of others…  Whether you believe it or not, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.  How you arrived at this place in life, doesn’t matter.  What matters is what you’re doing at this place in your life.  Life isn’t a competition you win, it’s a race you run…  Everyone reaches the finish line at their own pace.

6.   Don’t Skip Or Miss Out On Anything…  Don’t allow being single or not having a date keep you from attending events this holiday season….  Honor the invites you receive by stepping out of your comfort zone and attending each and every event presented to you.  You’re single not by coincident, but choice.  If you really wanted to be in a relationship, you could…

5.  Answer only the questions that will benefit the person asking… Many of you dread the question “Why aren’t you married?”  You dread it because more than likely you’ve been asked it repeatedly that day and have convinced yourself something is wrong with you because you aren’t…  Answering “Why aren’t you married?” doesn’t benefit the person asking in anyway, so why stress over giving him/her information they (Click HERE to read more)

When Toxic Is All You Know…

 

When toxic is all you know you’ll find yourself missing, craving, and running back to it… It’s amazing how so many of you can’t function if there isn’t toxic in the air you breathe… Maybe your first encounter was in your younger years…  Maybe your parents were toxic which infected you with toxic…  Maybe it was your friends who were toxic or a teacher, whatever the case may be, somewhere in time you partook in the savory taste of the toxic and ever since, you’ve been unable to live without feeding your soul…

Just yesterday I was speaking with a young lady who on the surface appears to be healthy and healed, but flowing at the core of her is toxic waste…  For years she’s wasted time on toxic men who mentally and emotionally abused her…  Because it was all she’s ever known, she misconstrued it with love… She thought his toxic behaviors were ways of expressing his concern, love, and protection…  She thought his inappropriate behaviors were ways of mandating his manhood…  She thought (Click HERE to read more)

Who The …. Are YOU???

 

Have you ever thought you knew EVERYTHING about someone only later to find out you didn’t know a damn thing about them???  You thought he/she was honest, upfront and the type to commit to only one, but now you know they’re the biggest liar you’ve ever met; sneaky, and they’re juggling you and many others…  You thought he/she was the one you should marry, date, love and give everything to, but now you know you should have left their ass way before getting to the altar; never considered dating them and the love you gave him/her, should have been given to yourself to help you see clearly they ain’t bout shit…  Boy were you a fool to believe he/she was really into you… Believe he/she was different from your ex…  Believe he/she would would respect, love and cherish the relationship the two of you had…

Some of you today have given yourself to someone who should have never had you…  Maybe you were married to them…  You thought those months /years of dating was your opportunity to get to know him/her, but here it is today you’re now questioning everything you’ve been told…  You thought one thing, but truthfully they’re another…  You thought he/she was healthy, but mentally they’re sick…  You thought it was great to get those calls, attention and validation you’ve been wanting, but now you know they were only clocking you to free themselves up to do (Click HERE to read more)

“I’m Amazed” (Full Track)

“Chuck’s” Make Your Feet Look Big!!!

 

 

So everyone knows I love my “Chucks” (Converse)…  If I could, I would wear them every day with everything, it’s just something about em…  Funny to say, every time I wear them I’m always told “Wow, your feet are big”…  Now in comparison to some men, my feet are relatively small or would be considered average…  Based on my height and weight, I believe my feet are perfect, but I must admit…  “Chucks” makes them look a couple of inches bigger…  

Now there’s no need in me sugar coating this blog because we all know the size of a man’s hands and feet are used many times to calculate the size of his …..  Yeah I’m going there…  For many of you reading, the first thing you take notice of is the man’s feet… Once you’ve calculated, you check out his hands for confirmation…  If both are big, you expect big…  If both are small, you anticipate disappointment…  So where am I going with this??  You’re wondering…  Well just like the size of a man’s hands and feet, many of you take “looks” (Click HERE to read more)

Table For One, Please!!!

 

“I know what I bring to the table, so trust me when I say, I’m not afraid to eat alone.” Unknown

So I ran across this quote this morning and boy did it get my wheels to turning…  If only this was a truth people chose to live their lives by…  You know a truth people used as the foundation in every decision he/she makes…   If it was a truth there would be less divorces because people wouldn’t marry because they’re afraid of being alone…  If it was a truth there would be much less drama; repeated cheating; verbal, mental and physical abuse…  If it was a truth there would be a sea of happier singles who are embracing “settling isn’t an option”…  If only it was a truth, I wouldn’t be typing this blog…

I can remember dining (dating) in the past where both parties were miserable…  Because I was afraid of eating alone, I settled for whomever would sit at the table with me… In some regards we were total opposites, almost like a Vegan sitting at the table with a Carnivore, but because I felt I just couldn’t make it alone, I decided to dine with misery…  You see I wasn’t clear of everything I brought to the table, therefore I wasn’t sure what I wanted to eat (needed)….  I ate whatever was served and therefore I was left with the aches and pains of what my life (Click HERE to read more)