The Single’s Diary…

 

8.31.2016

Today is a new day, but I feel exactly the same as yesterday and the days before, ALONE!!!  I’m trying my hardest to shake what I’m feeling, but the harder I try, the further it pushes me into my misery.  This morning I laid there in bed alone, wanting to be held, but no one to hold me.  I wanted so badly to hear “I love you”, but no one to tell me…  I just want to be loved, is (Click HERE to read more)

“Honest Men -vs- Strong Women”

Where are the “Honest Men”?  Men who refuse to compromise their integrity for the sake of sparing feelings?  Men who find freedom in speaking truth?  Men who lack the time, energy, and patience for backtracking their words?  Men who recognize “Game” is a “Lie” therefore they’re unwilling to play them???  Has God ceased creating men of this caliber?  Ceased the production and assembling of men whose actions mirror their words?  Where are the “Honest Men”?  Do they even exist anymore???

Where are the “Strong Women”?  The women who are strong enough to walk away when an “Honest Man’s” truth doesn’t match her own?  Women who are strong enough (Click HERE to read more)

“How I Cope With “Age” & “Singleness”…”

 

So today’s post is for those of you who are in your mid-thirties and older…  If you’re currently single, you’re either widowed, divorced, have been in a long term relationship, seeking love or you’ve completely given up on it…  You’re older, body isn’t what it used to be, mind isn’t as quick as it used to be, and dammit it feels like your best years are far behind you….  You gave the “Best of You” to someone who is no longer a part of your life and what in the hell do you have to show for it???NOTHING…  Just like many of you I struggle at times with being single and then having to add on the whole “Age Factor” only complicates it even more…  In these times I have to check myself because I’m either competing with the “clock”; who I used to be, or those much younger than myself…

One thing I’ve learned to do is embrace my age…  I’m not ashamed of it, have no desires to be younger, nor do I seek to act or appear any younger than what I am…  I’ve accepted the changes over the years and in no way am I seeking to alter what time has given me…  Many of you struggle with being/getting older because you’ve been hoodwinked into believing no one will want someone your age.  Inwardly and secretly, you’re struggling because your body and hair color has changed, patience and tolerance level has decreased, and because you’re set in your ways.  You’ve never told anyone these things, but every morning when you look into the mirror, you tell yourself…

Second thing I’ve learned NOT to do is compete with who I used to be…  Do you ever get pissed at the thought of how you spent months or years with someone when your body and mind were at their best; you were young and to be quite honest, YOU WERE ALL OF THAT???? You often find yourself comparing “who you used to be” to “who you are now”, and it seems like the “now” falls considerably short to “then”…  Ain’t that a b…h!!!  In these moments (Click HERE to read more)

How I Cope With “Singleness”…

 

I’ve accepted I’m a “Relationship Guy”… I’ve done the whole “One Night Stands”, long term sleeping around and I’ve even gone out on a few dates I knew weren’t going anywhere…  Even though I’ve found peace with living a single life, this peace of mind doesn’t exempt me from facing many of the struggles some of you face each and every day…  Every weekend the desires of being in a relationship crosses my mind…  There are times in which I’m faced with allowing being single to keep me from doing the things a couple would do….  I even have moments where I question whether or not I’m too picky… But in these moments I remind myself of where I’ve been, who I am, and where I’m going…

 Like many of you I’ve been in some horrible relationships…  I’ve been in situations in which I knew I should have walked away, but I stayed…  I’ve been in situations where the “best of me” fell into the shadows of the “worst of me”…  I’ve been hurt, miserable and have even settled for relationships…  Because of where I’ve been helps me cope in the times I’m faced with “singleness”…  It helps me to see where I am is so much greater than where I was…  It helps me to appreciate the freedom of not waking up thinking “I can’t do this anymore”…  It helps me to see that I settled for less than and it also helps me to see “Who I Am” today…

Because many of you are so desperate for a relationship, you never take time to get to know who you are today…  You jump from one relationship to another (Afraid of being alone… Been there, done that…) without ever taking inventory (Click HERE to read more)

“You Gotta Date Em’ First…”

“(girls name) and (boys name) sitting the tree… K.I.S.S.I.N.G…  First came love, then came marriage, then came baby in  a baby carriage.”

I think we’ve all heard the lyrics from the “Kissing Song”…  As kids, it was somewhat embarrassing, but when you really dive into it, there’s a lot of truth that many of you overlook…  Some of you want to jump right into marriage skipping the kissing (getting to know) and falling in love stages…   You’re what I like to call an “Intentional Dater”…  If a person doesn’t meet your qualifications on the surface, you’re unwilling to dive in and get to know them.  As a result of this, you’re frustrated, tired and ready to give up on the whole dating process…   Trust me when I say I understand all of the games and garbage that comes along with dating, but that’s a part of it…  A “date” is designed to get to know people which allows you to weed out those who aren’t fit to be in your life, not as a chance to interview them for marriage.

Here are a few hidden points many of you may have never considered when chanting the above lyrics…  First, in order for them to get up into the tree, they had to climb…  Whether or not he climbed first and pulled her up or allowed her to climb so he could check out what she was working with, they both put in the time and effort…  Climbing is an activity which takes time, energy and a willingness by both parties, which sometimes leads to (Click HERE to read more)

“And Why Would I Do That???”

So last night I met up with some buddies for drinks…  For the first time in like forever I didn’t have to endure the complaints about their wives not cleaning, cooking, sexing and not being quiet, so for the most part it was a good night…  Just as I thought we were about to make it through the night without the dreaded question being asked, here goes it…  “So JP, when you going to jump the broom???”  I know for sure this dude reads my blogs, watches my videos and even heard me say a thousand times how I hate that question, but I guess he was ready for a fight, so I gave him one..  My response was, “And why would I do that???”.  Caught out guard, he says “Why would you do what?? Get married???  (I nod)  Well we all want somebody to get old with???”  Now he should have known that wasn’t a good answer and that he was about to get lit up….

Now take into consideration this is a guy who has a woman on the side.  A guy who constantly complains about his wife…  A guy who in all honesty doesn’t love, halfway likes, and not in the least bit respects his wife…  So I respond “Yeah, why would I get married???  Is your marriage supposed to be an example (Click HERE to read more)