8 Things A Man Should Say On A First Date…

Okay, let’s get straight to it…

  • “You look nice”:  Fellas, a compliment will take you a long way. Even if she doesn’t, lie…  We’re all profiled as liars, so live up to her expectations…

  • “Wow, what type of perfume are your wearing?  It smells great”:  Fellas, a compliment will take you a long way.  Even if she doesn’t quite smell like flowers on a beautiful Spring day, fudge a little…  We’re all profiled as liars, so live up to her expectations…

  • “That’s great”:  Fellas, validation will take you a long way.  Even if you really can’t comprehend or don’t quite agree with her dreams, pursuits or passion, show a little support…  We’re all profiled as liars, so live up to her expectations…

  • “You’re Different”:  Fellas, separation will take you a long way.  Even if you believe her erratic behavior, psycho tendencies and her twitching eye is what separates her from the millions of sane women in the world, stretch the truth a little and smile when you say it…  We’re all profiled as liars, so live up to her expectations…

  • “You’re the best date I’ve had in a long time”:  Fellas, appeasing will take you a long way.  Just like men, women are competitive…  Everyone wants to feel like (Click HERE to read more)

On To Your “Next”, Tied To Your “Ex”…

One of my greatest “Love Failures” was involving an innocent person in my complicated, dramatic, and unhealthy love life…  I think we’ve all been there…  You know when you’re trying to move on from your “Ex”, so you find yourself involved with someone hoping they’re the solution to your problem… For me at the time I thought jumping into a “New” situation would drown the “Old”, but it didn’t…  I thought jumping into a “Healthy” situation would give me strength to finally move on from the “Unhealthy” one I was previously in, but it didn’t…  I thought jumping into a “Positive” situation would cure me of the “Negative” one I was tied to, but boy was I wrong… You see proper time is always needed before moving into future relationships… If the time to heal isn’t taken, you’re only going to transport the toxic into your new relationship and more than likely it will end, and you’ll find yourself right back in the place you’ve been running from…

Some of you reading this post can relate to my previous experience, not because you’ve done it, but because you’re currently doing it…  You’re in a new relationship, but you’re tied to your old one…  Secretly you find yourself wondering what your “Ex” is doing, whether or not they miss you, wondering if they’re having just as hard of a time getting over you as you are getting over them….  Currently you’re with a great person, someone who checks off all the wants on your list, but no matter how great they are, THEY’RE NOT YOUR EX…  You’ve never openly compared the two, but daily in the back of your mind, there’s a “Side-By-Side” chart listing the qualities of your “Ex” and your “Next”…

Here’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way…  If your heart belongs to someone else, showing up in a new relationship without it not only hurts you, but also the innocent person you’re involved with…. “Rebound” relationships are the most detrimental and dangerous relationships of all…  When involving (Click HERE to read more)

When “I Do” Slaps You In The Face…

Today is March 30, 2016 and by now you’ve probably received a few invitations to either attend or be a part of someone’s wedding…  For some of you those invitations serve as a reminder YOU’RE NOT MARRIED…. In your heart you’re truly happy for their future, but the happiness doesn’t take away the sadness you feel about your present…  YOU’RE SINGLE, BUT YOU WANT TO BE MARRIED…  In you God placed all of this love, yet you have no one to give it to….  You want the beautiful gown/dapper tux; the flowers, breathe taking venue and to be able to say those two words you’ve dreamed of your entire life, “I Do”…  You’re watching everyone begin what appears to be a “Happily Ever After” life, so when is it going to be your turn???

I’m asked all the time, “John, when are you getting married???” and of course, I have no answer…  You see at this current phase of my life, “Marriage” is not something I desire nor am I pondering….  BUT IF the day should ever come God shows me marriage is to be a part of my future, there are a few things I’ll need to see before the venue is booked and the invites are sent…  Outside of the Health Report (STD’s, Diabetes from the lack of taking care of yourself aren’t in my future), I’ll need to see Credit Scores, Employment History, Banking Account Statements, Credit Card Statements, (Click “HERE” to read more)

The “SIN” In “SINGLE”…

So when did “Dating” become a sin???…    “Single” become a curse or a disease in which God needs to heal???  And most importantly, where in the bible does it states “if you’re single, you can’t live your life to the fullest???”  Man, I’m so sick and tired of both Christian men and women treating “Single” like a circumstance…  I’m not sure who’s to blame for this one, but many of you are missing out on life all because you are “single”, listening to married people, involved in your churches “Single’s Ministry”, and because you’re sitting at home waiting on God…

It’s funny how all over the internet you’ll find captions like “God is preparing the man who can handle a woman like me”; “God where is my rib?“ and the most notorious  of all, “I’m waiting on God to send me the “One” He has for me”…  Is that right???  You’re waiting publicly, but privately you feel the need to give God a little help, right???  You know like EHarmony, Christian Mingle, Black People Meet, Speed Dating, and so many others outlets you’re choosing to lend that helping hand…  Single is made out sometimes to be this bad thing and if this so happens to be your status, something must be wrong with you…  The church tries to fix you with scriptures….  Married people tries to fix you through hooking you up with people they wouldn’t date themselves…  The world tries to fix you through Speed Dating, Online Dating, and Catfishing…  But do you need to be “FIXED” or “HONEST WITH YOURSELF”???

The problem with most singles is they’re not honest…  Single is hard, sometimes feel unfair, and if you’re not careful you will find yourself depressed behind it…   It’s like no one wants to admit that sometimes it’s a struggle being SINGLE and to be (Click HERE to read more)

“Good Person” -vs- “Good Person For You”…

Many of you are unhappy in your current relationship and don’t know exactly why…  The man/woman you’re with is unbelievably great, however something seems to be missing.  Is it you’re still tied to your “Ex”, so you can’t see the benefits of your “Next”?  Is it you’re ungrateful and unable to see just how blessed you are to have someone as incredible as him/her??? Is it a lack of “Chemistry”???  Or is it you’re with a “Good Person”, but not a “Good Person For You”???

Many times we fall into the trap of committing ourselves to “good people”, and to be completely honest, I understand how and why this happens…  It’s hard being “single”/”divorced”/”widowed”, so we find ourselves entertaining people who are “good”, but “good”  for SOMEONE ELSE…Just because someone is a “good person”; has a great job; a believer, and has the potential of becoming a great mother/father of your children doesn’t qualify them as the person you should be with.  “Good” isn’t “good enough” if they aren’t the person you are destined to be with…

Sadly to say, some of you are in relationships or married to people because you believed eventually you would fall madly in love with them, but still to this day you haven’t… You love him/her, but you’re not in love with them…  You (Click HERE to read more)

How To Let Go Of The “One” You Want To Hold Onto…

 

Have you ever loved someone so much, but love wasn’t enough to make them want you???  He/she was everything you wanted, but love wasn’t enough to open their eyes to see you’re everything they need???  You wanted a relationship, but even though they say “I love you too”, they didn’t???  You wanted more, but even though the two of you lived together; had children together, they didn’t???  They said it wasn’t you; that you were the best man/woman they’ve ever met, but at this time they weren’t ready for anything serious… That they’re not in a financial position to be in relationship or married…

What do you do when love is not enough???  When it hurts to think about walking away and it hurts even more thinking about staying???  What do you do when (Click HERE to read more)