Breaking Free Of “The Single Mindset”…

For my final post of “Emancipation Month”, I decided to save the best for last… For some of you reading this post, “Single” is a disease…  It’s damaging your chances of living a full life, poisoning your happiness, and a disease that’s killing your hopes of a brighter future.  Your biological clock is ticking, so it’s ruining your chances of having children…  You’re approaching 30; 40; 50, so it’s causing you to become less marketable in a scene filled with young, beautiful/handsome, and tight body youngsters.  Determined not to die single, you’ve sought out help from EHarmony, Christian Mingle, Black People Meet, Plenty Of Fish; Speed Dating; Voice Chat Dating and many other platforms in which has only taken your money, but gave you no product (Man/Woman)…

“Single” has become an unbearable disorder that has impaired your vision…  You’re unable to focus on anything other than being in a relationship, walking down the aisle, and living the fairy tale life…Dating has become your full time job, but there are no benefits and the pay sucks…  “God didn’t create me to be single” and this may be true, but at this very moment you’re single, so what are you going to do?  Are you going to continue living your life dreading the weekends; “Valentine’s Day”, attending family functions and weddings?  Are you going to continue jumping into dead end relationships?  Sleeping with random people attempting to fill a void?  Or are you going to do something different so the results will be different???

Here’s something for you to ponder…  YOU MAY DIE SINGLE, NEVER MARRIED, WITH NO CHILDREN…  Your life may expire and you would have gone your entire existence in and out of relationships that didn’t evolve into marriage…  Marriage is not a prize you win for dating, nor is it a promise made by God (Click “HERE” to read more)

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Breaking Free From “The Book”…

 

On Monday I had lunch with someone who is a great source of inspiration in my life…  A genius, very passionate about his future, and someone whose positivity soars high above the clouds…  For the past 10 years he’s been in a relationship with the same woman which prompted me to ask “So when are you two getting married?”, and his response went something like “Why would we?”  I have to admit I was a little taken back by this because he’s very big on “evolution” and how things should evolve into something greater…  He asked me, “Who says relationships has to evolve into marriage?  The Book???”

As the conversation continued he broke it down and actually caused me to reflect on what I write here at JohnPatrickAdams.com.  You see “The Book” has a lot of you depressed, contemplating suicide, overweight, popping pills, comparing yourselves to others, married to the wrong person, and so many other things you’ve allowed “The Book” to convince you of how life is SUPPOSED TO BE for you…  Now “The Book” isn’t the bible containing the word of the most high God, but it’s a book written by our parents, church leaders, friends, the media, the workplace, and even our enemies…  It’s filled with fears, failures, expectations, standards, and missed opportunities…  Some of the characters are titled “Morals”, “How to be a Lady”, “How to be a Man”, “What You Shouldn’t Do”, “What You Can’t Do”, and “If You Do This You Will Fail”…

For women “The Book” has caused many of you to hate your body because of the flab, stretch marks, sagging tits, and your drooping bottom … “The Book” has convinced many of you that if you’re not married by 30 your life is over, having kids is out of the question, you’re an “Old Maid”, and no man is ever going to want you…  “The Book” has told you that if you play sports you’re a “Dike”, “Carpet Muncher”, “Tom Boy”, and that you’re too masculine…  This same book has you feeling inadequate because your hair isn’t straight and long; your eyes aren’t blue; you’re too dark; too fat; too skinny; and “Dat big @$$ of yours ain’t attractive”. “The Book” has screwed you up with words that cause you to question your success, your contributions to the world, and your future…  Some of you women have married the wrong man because of “The Book” and now you’re regretting ever applying any of the principles you learned through reading (accepting the world’s truth) “The Book”.

For men “The Book” has caused many of you to use women as a combat for your insecurities as a man…  It’s caused some of you to spread STD’s; neglect your children: become a porn addict all because of that one chapter that defined (Click “HERE” to read more )

Breaking Free From “Others Opinions”…

Did you know what others think of you is only an opinion until you make it “truth”???  Well it’s true…  Their thoughts, perceptions, and opinions have no power until you empower it…  Outside of the seven amazing books published by 7th Sign Publishing, I believe “The Four Agreements” is a must read for everyone on earth.  A life changing book filled with principles that can change your life forever.   This book was given to me by a great friend when I first began my journey of truth, and it had a profound impact on my life…

“Speak Impeccable”, “Take Nothing Personal”. “Make No Assumptions” and “Do Your Very Best” are the agreements.  I’m daily learning to master “Take Nothing Personal”.  Meaning if you’re complimented, don’t take it personal as it’s subject to change…  If you’re criticized, don’t take it personal as it’s subject to change…  Some of you are living in bondage all because of the opinions of people who don’t pay your bills; have a “HEAVEN” or “HELL” to send you to, and people who don’t even have their own ish together…  Be it your parents, friends, church, coworkers or even your enemies, you’ve allowed their opinions to silence, suppress, depress, and imprison you…   So why does their opinion matter so much to you?  Why are you so bent out of shape when you hear what someone else thinks of you?  Well it’s because you’re seeking validation, approval, affection, attention, and the likes of (Click “HERE” to read more)

Breaking Free From “Family”…

 

Some of our most destructive behaviors are learned through our dealings with family…  Whether you agree or not, who you are today be it good or bad is mainly because of your family.   Our interaction with our siblings teaches us how to treat other people…  The way in which our parents treat us molds the way in which we see ourselves, and the way our parents treat each other, teaches us how to treat our mates. Behaviors learned unknowingly which impacts everyone we come in contact with in the future.

Some of your marriages/relationships are on the rocks all because of your family…   You’re constantly allowing your family to be in your business; treating your mate the way in which your parents treated each other; financially straining your house for a house you no longer live in, and you’re allowing your family to manipulate you into believing you owe them something.  “For the nine months I carried you” has you paying a lifetime debt you didn’t incur. So today you find yourself torn between fixing your home or temporarily patching up someone else’s…  You see when you allow your family to manipulate you, to trump your own home, eventually you will find yourself divorced/single, looking old from stress, and unable to find peace…  There’s always going to be something YOU SHOULD DO TO FIX THEM…

Then there are those of you who are losing sleep over a family member who’s sleeping peacefully…  You’ve made their problems your problems; constantly bailing (Click “HERE” to read more)

Breaking Free From “Your Ex”…

 

Did you know holding on to things given to you by an ex is indirectly holding onto your ex?  Whether or not you admit it, every time you look at what was given, you’re reminded of him/her.  Memories of the good and bad times; sex; possibly the abuse, and the very thing in which caused them to be placed on your list of ex’s.  You believe you’ve moved on, but subconsciously you’re tied to him/her tighter than a Boy’s Scott knot.  Some of your memories serve as a time machine because instantly you are transported back in time to the actual moment of the event.

Some of you are tied to your “ex” through sex…  Possibly they were your best ever…  He/She did things you’ve never had done before and because of this, your “next” doesn’t quite satisfy you.  He/she just don’t know exactly what its take to carry you to the levels you’ve experienced before, at least this is what you think…  Now don’t get me wrong, some people are more experienced than others, but when sex is given to our soul mates it tends to all come together…  The reason your “next” is not pleasing you is because you’ve carried your “ex” into the bedroom… (Click “HERE” to read more)

Breaking Free From “Your Fear Of Being Alone”…

 

Some of you reading this post are currently in a relationship where you know damn well your man/woman is cheating on you…  You’ve seen the text messages, read the emails, listened to the voicemails, and some of you have even gone as far as following him/her to their “Side Pieces” house…  You’ve confronted, they denied it…  You’ve shown the proof, they blamed you…  You’ve cried, cursed, fought, damaged and even left a few times, they’ve continued…

Then there are those of you who can be found on every dating site; frequently speed date and not only are you a member of the Singles Ministry at your church, but four others, some in which you’ve never even visited on a Sunday nor met the Pastor…  Marriage is your focus and if the man/woman in which you’ve met isn’t marriage material, no need in wasting your time, you have enough friends…  You’ve lost weight, extended your hair, (Click “HERE” to read more)

Breaking Free From “Religion”…

I can remember leaving church thinking “there is no way in hell God could love someone like me”…  After listening to the Pastor rant, sorry I meant preach, about what God requires and condemns, there was no way I could ever measure up to such high standards.  I was flawed, had issues, broken in so many ways, but God wanted perfection, at least this is what I thought.  It’s funny how we’re told God want so many things, but several of them aren’t listed in the bible…  You know like women wearing pants is a sin or how about men who have ear piercings are on a nonstop bus ride to hell…  Sadly to say, I’ve even heard some preacher’s state Cancer & AIDS is God’s wrath and punishment (So what about all the innocent people who did nothing to get this)… Yeah, “WOW”…   “Sins” created by flawed people who appointed themselves as God’s spokesperson.

“Religion” has caused so many people to lose hope in God because of the way in which He is portrayed…  Portrayals of this ruthless, non forgiving, compassionless, and unmerciful God who is willing to cut you off the first time you mess up.  Now don’t get me wrong, God requires us to live a life that is pleasing, however He knows because we are human, there are going to be times in which we fall.  This is why there is “Grace” & “Mercy”… “Grace” blesses us with the time to get it right, while “Mercy” withholds the punishment in which we deserve.  The two are completely different, but works hand in hand…  This is where “Relationship” comes into play, YOU MUST KNOW THE ONE TRUE GOD FOR YOURSELF…  He has to be your “Bestie” the one person you can be transparent with, let your guard down with, and the one you can admit you don’t have it all together….  One thing I’ve learned about God is no matter how messed up we believe (Click “HERE” to read more)