The Competition That Comes With Dating…

Now this blog is for those of you who are 35 and above… Those of you who are younger, you can read and take notes to avoid falling into this trap…
As I get older, I’ve learned I have to work even harder to keep myself in the game… It’s imperative I watch what I eat, exercise, stay mentally active and constantly affirm myself of all the amazing qualities in which I possess… I don’t compete with those men who are younger than I am or any many for that matter, but I refuse to fall into their shadows… As I stated several times before, when you compete with others, you always come up short. You see you’re competing with a perception or an illusion… You look at someone and come up with a conclusion of who you believe they are, then you compare yourself and later feel inadequate… With dating, you should never place yourself in a competition with others, because whether you realize it or not, those you are hoping to date have already placed you in one…
Here are 3 races you’re running and don’t even know it…
Age: Both men and women are placed in an age race… For women who are older than 35, you’re placed in a race against your biological clock…. Some men have a desire for children, therefore age becomes a factor. They think, “Is she too old to have children?”; “Should I chance my dreams of having kids with a woman who possibly can’t conceive due to her age?”. Men, you’re not off the hook either… Your age comes into play as well. Women look at the age of men and think, “Will he be around when the kid graduates high school???”; “Will people think he’s my dad and the kids grandfather?”… Age is a race many of you are clueless you’re running…
Weight: Both men and women are placed in a weight race… Now I get it, in some cases it’s more acceptable for a man to have (Click HERE to read more)
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Are We Back In Elementary???

Strong, Driven, Passionate, Creative, Brilliant, Determined, and Unstoppable… Giving, Caring, Nurturing, Loving and Admirable… All these qualities I believe every woman possess… It’s natural, but if you noticed “Fearless” is not an adjective I used to describe them… You see there are a lot of women who are fearful of many things… Things like rejection; not being acceptable; being too much and for some, not being enough… “Fear” overshadows all of their amazing qualities and because of this, they become so unattractive…
Yesterday I had lunch with a good friend of mine… A woman who is truly a genius, yet she finds herself repeatedly in the same situation… You see she secretly admires men who are in her grasp… Men she speak with daily, occasionally hangs out with, and men she’s too afraid to be honest with… Her most recent love interest is a guy she’s been talking with for the past 8 months. She’s really into him, but has never man’d up and shared this secret… She’s playing games with herself by hoping one day he’s going to come around and like her just as much as she like’s him… So I asked “Why haven’t you told him???”, her response had something to do with she doesn’t know if he likes her (Click HERE to read more)

I’ve Got That Selfish Love…

So maybe you remember my post “Commitment Issues? Fear?” from a few weeks ago… For those who haven’t read it yet, I once again made it known marriage is not a desire of mine… Of course this brought about many conversations, a few inbox messages, and comments on Social Media in which caused me to write this blog… One in particular came from a loyal reader here on the site… She explains she shared the post with a male friend of hers and he seemed to have a lot to say… His thoughts were this mindset is somewhat selfish and here’s the ultimate, “Nowhere in the bible does it say man should be alone”.
 
So here we go…
 
I agree, nowhere in the bible does it say “man should be alone”, but nowhere in the bible does God command every man to marry… It’s amazing how believers tend to make those of us who are single feel as though marriage is the ultimate prize from God… Let me go a little bit further, it’s amazing how “Single’s Ministries”/Believers (Click HERE to read more)

It’s Hard To Watch…

I think we all have that one friend whose life is hard to watch… That friend whose life appears to be spiraling downwards, yet there’s nothing you can do but watch them crash and burn… Unfortunately, there are some of you reading who is this friend I’m talking about… Your friends are watching your life in real time and to be honest, it’s quite hard to watch… Constantly you’re making bad decision after bad decision; entering bad relationship after bad relationship, and even though you should have learned by now, you refuse to take heed to the lessons of your past… “Happy” is boring, if there isn’t some form of drama in your life, you’re uncomfortable…
 
A buddy of mine suggested I watch “Orange Is The New Black”, so on Friday I began my binge… Currently on Season 4 and to be honest, Piper’s (Main Star) life is pretty hard to watch… Like many of you, “Happy” is something she just can’t live with… Just when it seems her life is on track, she finds misery… She consciously walks into situations in which have previously hurt her; situations in which the horrible outcome is evident; situations in which are toxic, and those situations in which she leaves (Click HERE to read more)

When It’s Over…

 
 
Not sure what it is, but currently I’m surrounded by divorce… A couple of my friends, both male and female, have either just finalized; in the process of finalizing, or walking into divorce… This past Sunday I had lunch with one who is walking into divorce… He wants his wife, but she wants out… The more he begs her to stay, the more her actions screams walk away… He’s hurting horribly, yet nothing he does convinces her to give it another shot… He’s convinced himself she’s done with the marriage, but unfortunately the battle between his heart and mind has him on an emotional roller coaster that feels like it’s coming off the track… As I’ve said a million times before, the hearts wants what makes it feels good, the mind wants what is good for you… Huge difference…
 
As I sat there and listened, he shared how he struggles with not calling, texting, or answering her calls… Of course, there are kids involved and because of where he finds himself, there are times when he’s used the kids as a (Click HERE to read more)

Throw Up The Deuces!!!

So today is my last day at a company I’ve worked for almost the past 10 years… So what’s next? Not sure… Where are am I headed??? UP!!! No locked in job, but I’ve never felt better or had such great peace about a decision… Over the past year, I’ve prayed and asked God to make some moves in my life; to lead me to a better job; to open doors only He could and to be honest, there were times when I felt God was ignoring me and placed His ear on mute in regards to me… Times when I questioned His presence, His hand and times when I even asked “How much more do You want me to take???”…
 
About a month or so ago, I was driving into work and it hit me, it was time… Time for me to free myself of this job and open myself up to receive what’s next in my life… The last day in which I’m supposed to work here came to me, but what was happening next didn’t. To some I’m crazy, but to those who know me and knows my faith in God, knows I’m making the right move… You see over the years (Click HERE to read more)

We’ve All Done It…

 
So why do people lie about the mistakes they’ve made? How they’ve been played? Or how about, how they’ve played themselves??? So yesterday I had lunch with some pretty cool people and the whole topic of “sex” or “the use of it” came up…
 
I strongly believe those of us who have traded in our “Virginity Card” at one time or another used sex to what we believed at the time was our advantage… Meaning we’ve all used sex as the catalyst for a relationship or mutual attraction… Used sex as the bait to get the one we want because we believe after they’ve had a taste of what we have to offer, the deal is sealed… Like those at the dinner table on yesterday, some of you are thinking “I’ve never done that” and like I said on yesterday “I call bull…t”… And honestly speaking, that’s why many of you have more current and ex sexual partners than you do dollars in your banking account…
 
Ladies, you thought your cookies was like none other… Thought you could sail his boat in the direction of a relationship and after he reached shore, got off the boat and walked out your place, you felt played… Played because you find yourself yet again with your head looking down at your panties on the floor… Fella’s you thought you were the best pipe layer this side of the tracks… Thought you were going to bust down some walls and make it damn near impossible for her to walk away… Yet she’s been with a few other plumbers in her day and the misunderstanding she had regarding (Click HERE to read more)