He Didn’t Make You Insecure, YOU DID…

So the other day a guy I see every morning at the gym starts talking to me out of nowhere…  I’ve seen this dude every morning for at least the past three years and we’ve never ever had a conversation, but I guess this day he had something on his chest he needed to get off…  So he says “My girl doesn’t want me to workout…”.  I listened as he released his frustrations and the more I listened, the more I realized he was with an insecure woman…  A woman who is threatened by improvement; the inability to control who he speaks with, and a woman who is scared he’s going to meet another woman who possesses the qualify she lacks, CONFIDENCE…

So to be fair to all you insecure women, I asked him the question many of you are currently pondering…  “So what did you do to make her so insecure?”….  Now all of you know that was pretty hard for me to ask, but I did it because I knew I would be writing this blog to you… He responds “Nothing…  I’ve never cheated, never lied…  For real dude, I’ve never given her any reason to believe I’m doing anything wrong…”  Honestly I believe this dude, I believe he was completely honest, loved his girl even though she’s crazy as hell and I believe he is one of the rare dudes in the world who is truly committed to the one he is with…

Many of you women reading this blog today are putting your man through pure de hell…  You’re questioning everything he does, where he goes, and who he interacts with…  You’re checking emails, voicemail’s, text, social media comments and some of you have even stooped as low as driving by the place in which he told you he would be…  You don’t (Click HERE to read more)

You Wanna Hear “It’s All His Fault…”

 

It’s amazing how many of you women want to hear “It’s his fault…”   You want to be told it’s all his fault you’re damaged goods; unable to trust; bitter; overweight and overeating; a single mother, and so many other excuses many of you are using to justify you being the bitter, insecure, broken, and impossible to trust woman you are… You want to hear he’s to blame for you feeling insecure with yourself…  You want to hear it’s all his fault you didn’t see the signs of something that was slapping you in the face… That leaving you for the girl with the good hair is the reason you feel inferior to white women… Now in no way is this post meant to bash you women, but at some point you’re going to have to own up for your own ish…  And when I say “ish”, I mean the state in which you find yourself today… 

Some of you are rude, intolerable, mean and borderline the notorious word you hate being referred to as…  Your attitudes are wack, your credit scores are jacked and you’re always on defense because you feel you’re under attack…  You loved a man, he hurt and broke you, and now he’s moved on, but sadly to say, you’re still holding on…  You’re holding onto what he did or didn’t do…  You’re holding (Click HERE to read more)

Drop Him Like A Mic…

 

So on last night I had a phone interview with the “Let’s Face It Radio Show”…  Phenomenal Host’s, great panel, and great conversation…  However throughout this show, I realize exactly why so many of you women are struggling in your relationships or settling for men who to be quite frank are losers… Coach Ellis brought to the table an interesting point of view, some his truths I completely agree with, however there are a few I found to be very interesting… Throughout the show, he continued to say “Men this”, “Men that”, “Men don’t”,  you get the picture, and I found that somewhat a struggle of mine…  You see just like women, he categorized all men as being the same…  And this is far from the truth…

One topic discussed was commitment or being faithful…  Coach Ellis believes it is somewhat challenging or impossible for a man to be faithful because it is in the nature of men to look, venture out, stray like a dog…  His belief is it’s just the nature of a man to do these things and I believe this is why so many of you women are with men who do not respect you or your relationship…  As stated in several of my blogs, there are men who are capable of being truthful to their woman because he sees the value of her…  Every man doesn’t cheat, lie, steal or kill… Every man doesn’t find it to be a struggle staying committed to his woman because he was raised by a man who was committed to his mother (Father)…  Every man doesn’t have to use his “Johnson” to prove he’s a man, some men just are confident in their own skin to know it…  So ladies, here are five things you need to ponder if your man uses “it’s the nature of a man” as a reason to treat you or your relationship in a way that’s less deserving…

  • If your man finds it challenging or impossible to stay committed to you because “it’s the nature (Click HERE to read more)

Signing A New Lease On Love…

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Happy Wednesday,

So here lately I’ve been dabbing more into the dating scene… Text messages, phone calls and even a few dates here and there… I love the morning call, midday text messages, and the nightly conversations of how the day went…  I enjoy the whole process of getting to know someone new and also discovering something new about myself…  Since getting back out there, I’ve noticed things aren’t much different than they were before…  It’s like I’ve moved on, but the whole process of dating has remained the same… Same ole games, fears, baggage and the same ole question of “Why can’t I find love???” are all still there…

Many of you reading are asking yourself this very question…  You’re wondering why someone like you can’t find a great person to fall in love with…  Why it’s so hard for love to find you???  Well to answer your question, the reason it’s hard for love to find many of you is because you’re hiding…  You’re hiding behind past hurt, fear of being hurt again, fear of not being enough, fear of being disappointed…  Fear has consumed not only your mind, but your heart… Did you know love can’t move into a place that’s already occupied?  That love has to be free to fill its residence, decorate its new home with joy and peace???  Love is a pure emotion that can easily be tarnished by toxic thoughts, behaviors and feelings, therefore the past needs to be evicted, before love even signs the lease…

Then there are you who aren’t open to love…  You say you are, but you aren’t… You’re bitter because you were cheated on, left for another woman/man; hit, punched, and slapped by the one you just left, and there are those of you who played a game you were destined to lose… Love fucked you over, therefore you closed the door not only to the hurt, but the joy of being in love… You’ve tried to convince yourself that you’re open to finding love, but every woman/man you meet, you compare her/him to the one you hate… You’re closed, emotionally numb, and secretly angered…  Yeah love got you good, so good until now you’re in denial…

What I know for sure is…  Love will never find you if you’re standing or hiding behind fear or what has happened in your past…  Love will never find you if your heart is filled with bitterness, hurt, and disappointment…  Love only finds those who are open to be found…  Love is like a Bluetooth earpiece… If your heart isn’t visible to those who are wanting to connect, it won’t connect because it can’t be found…