A Woman’s “Tool Box”!!!

 

Outside of ruling the world, what is the one thing most women think they can do???  (Drum roll please…..) “FIX A MAN”…  Yeah I said it, most women and I said MOST believe they have the tools to change a “Pimp into a Preacher”; “Loser into a Lover”; “Dog into a Dad”; “Boy into a Man” and the most recognized, a “Hoe into a Husband”…  Now I get it, the “Wonder Woman” movie has bamboozled some of you into feeling you can do any and everything…  The movie has empowered the weak, strengthened the discouraged and fooled the desperate….  You see ladies I believe as well you’re powerful, have the potential to change the world, BUTTTTTTTTTTTTT there’s one thing I know you can’t do and that is, “FIX A MAN”…  First, a man is who he is…  Whether he needs fixing is not up to you, but for him to decide…  All the tools in your tool box are useless when it comes to a man… 

So here are a few tools women carry around in their box to get the changed man they want…

“Manipulation”… 

  • Out of nowhere she finds the Lord…  For years “sex” was never an issue, but years later she doesn’t want to die and go to hell (For real, For real???)…  Her conscious is now bothering her and she wants to practice “True Love Waits”, so she holds out on sex…  Now take it she’s in her late twenties, thirties, forties and possibly fifties, but now she can’t live this way anymore… She still drinks, club and party and every now and then, she’ll even partake in some weed (Why Hookah when you can get the real stuff), but hey “Sinners have souls too…”  (Shugg Avery, Color Purple)…  

  • Out of nowhere she’s a “Financial Guru”…   For at least the last two months or so she’s known her lease expiration date was coming up, but 15 days until it expires saving money becomes her top priority…  “Moving In” is the best option for the two of them seeing she’s always at his place anyways…  So why spend all of that money when they could be saving for more important things, right??? wink, wink…

“Control”… 

  • Out of nowhere she’s his best friend…  For years he’s had the same friends and in the beginning, she loved them…  She thought they were good influences, but now that her boyfriend hasn’t married her after a few years in…  All of sudden these same guys she’s gotten tips and advice from are encouraging him to lie and cheat.  These same friends are not trustworthy and the reason they’re unhappy…  If he wants to continue this relationship with her, he must cease or decrease his interaction and relationship with his boys…  He should be able to tell her any and everything, even the things she can’t handle…

  • Out of nowhere she’s the only woman he needs…  For some ungodly reason, texting and talking with his female friends is now an issue… Because of the smiles, chuckles and the length of the conversations between the two, there has to be something going on…  Why does he need friends, when he has her, right??? Men and women can’t have platonic friendships, right???  They’re incapable (Click HERE to read more0

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3 Lessons Of “Leaving”…

 

Today many of you find yourselves feeling as though you’re stuck between a rock and a brick wall…  Feelings of being trapped has overwhelmed you and regardless to which way you turn, there’s nowhere to go… Today I want to share with you 3 Lessons I’ve learned from “leaving”…

First, “leaving” teaches us what we had…  It shows us whether or not the “one” or the “thing” we left behind was good or bad for us…  We’ve all heard “you never know what you had until it’s gone” and boy is this true…  You realize whether they were an “asset” or “liability” when they’re no longer there…  The realization of whether or not they were the “best” or “worst” thing to have ever happened to you surfaces…  You realize the value or detriment they placed into your life…  Whatever the case may be, you realize what you had…

Secondly, “leaving” teaches them what they had…  It shows what we really brought to or took from the table… It shows the importance of appreciating the good, letting go of the unimportant, and working through the bad…  “Leaving” shows exactly what you did in their lives…  You know like the things taken for granted, assumed would be taken care of, and the things only you knew about…  “Leaving” opens their eyes to whether or not you “had their” or “stabbed them in their” back…  It reveals how you “pushed them forward” or “pulled them backwards”…  Whatever the case may be, they realize what they had…

Lastly, “leaving” teaches us who we are…  It shows us just how strong, brave and courageous we are…  Leaving reveals all the lessons of the experiences we’ve had, how we should move forward, and what we should take with us…  It will teach you things you didn’t even know (Click HERE to read more)

“Roommates With Benefits”

 

So I think we’ve all heard of “Friends With Benefits”…  You know those friends who give a lil extra “sum-en, sum-en” every now and then…   The friends who won’t commit to each other emotionally, but don’t mind committing physically…  The “Netfix And Chill” buds or “wayment”, how about those two people who really aren’t friends, but just like the convenience of having sex with the familiar…  I think at some point we’ve all experienced a “Friends With Benefits” type of situation, so don’t act brand new…  Some of you reading became a “FWB” without your consent, you thought it was going to be more, but it turned out less than what you expected…  The two of you were reading different books and the only thing you’re left with are the memories and feeling’s of being played…

Most of you haven’t heard of “Roommates With Benefits” and that’s probably due to the fact I just made it up this morning, lol…  For decades we’ve known “Roommates With Benefits” as “Shacking”, “Common Law Marriage” and what most of us know today as “Cohabitation”…  You know those people who are living together without the blessing of God and the recognition of the State in which they’re living…. The two people their mates family is going to disown when it comes to splitting the insurance policy… The people who not only want to taste the milk before taking home the cow, but they’re having steaks, beef jerky, and a few beef fajita tacos every Tuesday… Lets not forget those couples who have decided marriage is defined by the heart, not by a certificate…  Or how about those Scientists who lack degree’s, yet experimenting with living with someone before jumping broom…  You know they’re just testing the waters, before diving into the pool…

So a loyal reader here at JohnPatrickAdams.com asked (Click HERE to read more)

Who’s On The Other Side???

 

I’ve learned over the years if you want to know whose wrong for you, fix what’s wrong in you…  Whether or not you believe it, your circle is a reflection of your core…  Who you choose to befriend, date, marry, or even associate with is a direct reflection of who you believe you are or what you believe you’re worth… 

I can remember when I thought I wasn’t worth anything…  My esteem was low, I was overweight, skin was jacked up and sadly to say, my mind was f’d up… Because of the way I felt inwardly about myself, outwardly I portrayed it… At the time almost every relationship whether it was intimate or platonic seemed to have been toxic… Friendships filled with gossip, malicious talk and conversations that dealt with everything except for what was important, improving ourselves…  Relationships filled with lies, lack of trust, indiscretions and behaviors I’m not so proud of today…  I mean everything in my world seemed to have been spiraling downward, but sadly to say, I was comfortable in it…  I was comfortable in the toxic, because I was toxic…  For years the poisonous and toxic behavior was all I knew…  Where it all began, I can’t quite tell ya, but I do know it wasn’t good… 

When I finally stepped into the light, overnight it seemed as though my life changed…  I didn’t have to cut people off, they left…  Not because I made them feel uncomfortable, but because what I was talking about they weren’t interested in…  I didn’t have to break off relationships, they seemed to have broken themselves off…  Not because I set demands for change, but because I set expectations for myself and no longer willing to accept anything less….  I no longer cared if I was going to be (Click HERE to read more)

You’ll Never Be Number One…

 

With all the games, drama, and complexity that comes with dating today many of you find yourself being the “understudy” in a production that already has a “star”…  Maybe you didn’t know the role of wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, bae or boo was already cast when you arrived…  Maybe you didn’t know you were going to get all entangled in a situation where the other person was unavailable…  Or maybe you did know, however you’ve fallen for the unfulfilled and broken promises of you being the “main squeeze” sooner than later…  Whatever your story is, today you find yourself in a situation where three is a crowd and unfortunately, you’re the third wheel known by one, but not by the other…

If we’re all honest with ourselves, we all have issues and things we need to work on or work out, so this is not a judgmental post, but one to bring truth your way…  If you’re the side piece, other woman, “The John”, friend with benefits, dude waiting in the cuff, YOU WILL NEVER BE NUMBER ONE…  You will always be the runner up, Miss Congeniality, or the plumber who knows how to clean pipes…   When finding yourself in situations in which the person is committed to someone else, truthfully (Click HERE to read more)

When Your “Love Story” Turns Into A “Scary Movie”…

By now many of you have seen “Get Out”…  A well-produced movie that tackles a topic many of us are uncomfortable talking about, RACISM!!!  Now as you know, I’m a cancer and we are known to be very analytical people…  As I watched the movie, I went deeper into how this movie can be applicable to each of our lives as well as a topic many of us are VERY COMFORTABLE talking about, RELATIONSHIPS!!!   Now I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it, but I will say the guy should have gotten out of the relationship probably within the first 15 minutes of the movie, but like many of you reading, he stayed in the craziness until his “Love Story” turned into a “Scary Movie”…

You see there were so many red flags, yet he allowed his heart to win over his head…  I mean he could see the psycho behavior of the brother, the unusual behavior of the father and mother, and let’s not even mention the Cop, Maid, and Groundskeeper….  There were signs of danger ahead, deceit, and questions of whether or not he would make it out okay, but again he allowed his heart to overrule his head…  Here on the sight I’ve written (Click HERE to read more)

Why Are You Begging Him/Her To….???

 

I believe one of the hardest things for a single to do is accepting the one you want, don’t quite feel the same way as you…  I mean it’s crushing to know your own beauty, but have someone who doesn’t see nor desires it…  I mean you’re a great person, would be a great addition to their life, but for whatever reason they’ve decided to pass you by…  It hurts and trust me when I say, I understand…  I understand how it feels to want someone so badly, yet he/she doesn’t want you…  I understand how it feels to go out of your way to show someone you’re really into them, yet he/she acts like you don’t exist…  I understand completely how you’re feeling today because I’ve worn those shoes… 

 Many of you today are begging someone whom through actions have shown you either you’re not their type, they’re not interested in what you have to offer, or they’re just not into you…   You’re begging them to like you just as much as you like them…  You’re begging them to find you attractive, make the first move, initiate or express interest towards you, yet they do nothing…  Many of you are reading thinking, “I haven’t begged anyone” and boy are you lying to yourself…. You’re begging them through your actions…  Begging by buying gifts for someone (Click HERE to read more)