I’m All Up In My Feelings…

 

Here recently I’ve noticed I’ve been all up in my feelings…  I’ve been taking everything personal which has caused me to lose sleep, skip meals and there have been times I’ve even snapped at or gone off on those who support me the most…  I found myself being held prisoner to the thoughts of others, worrying about things I have no control over, and I’ve even contemplated throwing in the towel… Honestly, I’ve been stressed to the max and I couldn’t figure out exactly what was going on…  I mean it just seemed like no matter which way I turned, life threw me a blow… ‘

Over the past five years I’ve worked extremely hard fighting my inner demons…  Demons which caused me to be afraid of stepping into the brightness of my future because of the darkness of my past…  Demons who were concerned with what other’s thought, said, and with how they reacted…  Demons that raped my inner man of his hope, faith, and his strength to handle things in which I faced..  I’ve found myself resorting back to the “Old John” who worried about everything, spoke negatively, and whose mind thrived on toxic…  I’ve found myself speaking negatively to myself, doubting my abilities, and questioning if I was doing the things I’ve been called to do…  I’ve been all up in my feelings for a while and it’s killing me…  You know what’s funny, some days I’ve been like many of you…  I didn’t even want to hear or read the crap coming out of my mouth either…  I just wanted to break, be miserable for a moment, and not be the upbeat guy everyone expects me to be…  I just want to have a freaking moment…

No matter how I fought to be human and have a moment, there is always a voice that says “Don’t take it personal”…  Now when you’re going through, this is not something you want to hear because what you’re experiencing feels personal because it’s personally happening to you at the moment…  HOW CAN YOU NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL WHEN LIFE SEEMS TO BE GOING AT IT’S WORST…  But as I’m typing this post, I’m encouraging (Click HERE to read more)

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