Should You Date With Marriage As A Goal?



Okay, I was reading fellow writer, Keshia Dawn latest post “Is Dating A Sport?” (Check it out).  A well written post loaded with truth and if taken to heart, both men and women can walk away enlightened…  She explains the game of dating and how if one person wants more than the other, there’s a possibility he/she walks away feeling as though they’ve lost the game…  So this brings me to my post, “Should you date with marriage as the goal?” And my second question, are there any losers in dating???  Now this is a tricky question and I’m quite sure my female readers, thirsty male bashers and those who have posted on my page (and I quote), “John Patrick Adams, you’re a Prick and I feel sorry for every woman you meet” will probably disagree with what I’m about to say… BUT OH WELL, you’ll be okay after the swelling go down.

So here we go…  Should you date with marriage as the goal????  And that would be a HECK NO…  There’s nothing wrong with desiring to be married; dreaming of one day walking down the aisle in a tuxedo or beautiful wedding gown, but every man/woman you meet shouldn’t have to carry the burden of being a possible candidate for wedlock.  Dating is the “sifting” process… It should be utilized as a time to meet people and most importantly, discover yourself…  I’ve learned through dating, if we allow ourselves the opportunity to loosen up, we open the doors to learning so much about ourselves… Things we thought we wanted, we really don’t want… Things we didn’t know we like, we discover a new love for them. Trust me, I know “dating” can be a hassle, frustrating, and sometimes feel like a “Part Time” job, but it should be enjoyable and not stressful for either party.   This is where I believe lots of men and women (more women than men) go wrong…   They enter into the dating scene searching for a spouse and to some this unattractive…

So here are 7 reasons “I” believe you SHOULDN’T date with marriage as a goal…

  1. You don’t know him/her…  Back in the day it was said it takes 3 weeks to get to know someone…. With text, email, Facebook, Instagram, online dating, it can take a life time to get to know him/her.  Take adequate time to know the real person, not the person being portrayed on the first couple of dates…
  2. You don’t know him/her… Yeah I know this was number one, but it’s worth emphasizing…  Do yourself a favor by not stamping “Partner For Life” on him/her at first sight.  The outside will change and when it does, you’re stuck with the inside…
  3. It makes you “thirsty”… There’s nothing worse than a “Thirsty Man/Woman”…  They’re too aggressive, but call it “Knowing what I want”; very judgmental and unforgiving…   Because the expectation is marriage, deadlines for commitment are placed on the other party which becomes very unattractive and possibly cause a breakup.  Drink a glass of “Patience” and slow your roll homie…

Everyone is not marriage material…  Just because someone has a steady job, own place of residence, education, (Click “HERE” To Read More)


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